Hope

Maybe tonight I can tear up my diary and
Start a new one,
All over.
Maybe tonight I can just open
Up my window and feel the rain and keep on feeling it
Until my fingers go numb.
I can make the adrak wali chai tonight
And go through my library.
I can pick up ‘The Kite Runner’ from the whole
And read and reread it and
Finally wish for someone as Hassan.
(I will secretly promise, “For you, a thousand times over”.)
Tonight I can end up falling in love with Mogwai
And when the playlist has repeated at least a good ten times,
I will listen to the 1975.
Tonight I can take the dust off my violin, tune it up
And play “Pardesi Mere Yaaran”
Until I get it perfect (seemingly).
I can write a not so twisted up poem tonight
And tell myself its okay to keep things simple at times.
Tonight I can wake up Maa and Papa and silently hug them.
Maybe I can have another fight with bro
And end up in the couch, laughing till we get tears.
Tonight I can quote Neruda
And count up to 12
And finally think why I can’t be happy?
Maybe tonight I can.
Actually I can.